So tonight I was driving home, and I was thinking.
Lately I’ve been dealing with a lot of insecurity with the fact that I am single. My singleness was a struggle in high school and early on in college, but over the past few years, God really enabled my heart to stay content in that area. However, this “new” post-grad season of life has brought that struggle back to my heart and mind. As I was driving, I was telling the Lord how I felt like I just wasn’t enough. I felt like the reason I was so, so single was because I wasn’t virtuous enough, responsible enough, “grown up” enough, and patient enough for a Godly relationship.
Then the Holy Spirit reminded me that I was right. I am not enough. In all aspects of my life, I am not enough. I will never be able to measure up, and that’s the beauty of the gospel. God reminded me that I am nothing without Him. I was lost. I was dead in my sin. I was full of lack, and had fallen so short of God’s perfect standard. I was stained with sin, but Jesus took my place. He bridged the gap between the Father and I by living a perfect life and taking my place on the cross. And the cross is enough.
So, I am grateful that God does not call me to muster up enough strength to live the life that He has called me to. I am completely reliant upon Jesus to live His life through me. I am also thankful that God has reminded me, yet again, to seek Him and not worry about trying to be “good enough” for a relationship, because that is a lie from the enemy.
In all aspects of my life it is Christ’s perfection that I depend on. And if the Lord sees fit to bring a relationship in my life, it will be because of His goodness, and not because I have earned it. And if He does not He is still good, and He is still enough. He is the greatest love that I will ever know, and He is all-satisfying. It is Jesus who is enough in me, and Jesus who is enough for me.
“Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her. And there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Anchor a door of hope.”
Hosea 2: 14-15
“And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD.”
“Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9